I suck and I love to fail

It is often our desire to get things right (succeed) that gets in the way of doing it in the first place. For example starting a business. A business plan might be a good idea, but people often use it as an excuse why they haven't started their business yet: I haven't drawn up the business plan.

When we were children we were willing to try many things many times over to learn how to do it. Riding a bike without falling was only accomplished by riding a bike and falling many times. If I were too afraid to fall over on my bike, I would never have learned how to ride it and not fall over.

Yet, through our school years we learn that there are right answers and wrong answers. Gradually we become more and more hesitant to answer questions in class for fear of being wrong. Until one day when we are only willing to risk an answer when we are certain we are right. Succeeding (or being right) have bowed to the fear of being wrong (failing).

And by changing our state our instructor was trying to change our perception of what we were doing. As adults we've become accustomed to want to be right, and for improv comedy to work, you have to be willing to fail.

Note, I'm not saying we set out to fail, rather that we had to become indifferent to it. That is the lesson I took away and want to apply to our real lives.

Why are we so often stuck where we are financially? It is because we are too afraid to try something new. Should we do it wrong and fail, we will appear like fools. Its the sentiment of lets not try and at least appear wiser (than try and remove all doubt).

So how do we get over our fears of doing it wrong? Get in a different state. As children we loved trying new things for it afforded us the opportunity to learn. Set out to achieve a playful, childlike state where you become indifferent to the outcome and focus on what you can learn from the experience. When our minds are engaged with the experience it is open to learn the fine art of doing things that work and equally important learning what doesn't work.

It is not that we don't care about outcomes anymore. We are willing to explore different, unfamiliar avenues to find new ways that work and bring us closer to our goals. It just changes our focus from the outcome based fear of being right or wrong, to the excitement of trying something new. Are you in with me? Say loudly after me: "I suck and I love to fail."

Wealthy thoughts:
Four things that you've been putting off –
An exercise from Awaken the Giant Within by Anthony Robbins

The exercise at the end of the chapter has five steps and asks us to:

1. Identify four things that we have been putting of.
2. To ask ourselves why we have been putting it off (the pain we associate to taking the action).
3. Then to identify what pleasure we gained by not taking action.
4. Fourthly we look at what it is costing us not to take action now.
5. And finally the pleasure we will experience should we take action now.

Now it seems like a fairly simple exercise, yet I was stuck on this for more than six months. I had an action on there that I just wasn't going to take. I wanted to take it, I just associated so much pain to taking it that it caused me to reject it as an option.

There was this beautiful girl at work that I fancied for a while but haven't done anything about. All this time I was wondering whether there could be something there, but I kept putting of taking any action. So when this exercise came up, it was on the top of the list. I did ask her out on a date at the end. Which she said no to, yet I wasn't afraid anymore. I was relieved. It was like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders and I could go on with my life.

At the heart of making any change in your life lies taking action. If you want things to change you have to act to make it happen. We all have things we've been putting off, so take a moment and identify four things that you have been putting off.

Now, what are the pain associated to this action that have been the reason you've been putting it off? For example fear of failing or looking like a fool. And what temporary pleasure you gained from not taking action?

In my case this was saving myself from potential embarrassment. Yet when taking a longer term view and asking yourself what is it costing you by not taking action, we start to change our state. What is it costing you? What will the cost be if you keep putting it off?

What pleasure will you gain if you take action now? Will you lift a burden from your shoulders like it did for me? Maybe you've been putting of eating healthily and taking action now will prolong your life.

Changing your life and awakening the giant within yourself starts by taking action that you've been putting off. Start now!

1. Set financial goals. If you know how much money or income you want, your subconscious will start to work on ways to get there.
2. Pay your taxes. Uncle Sam is bigger and stronger than you. But you can plan your affairs in such a way that your overall obligations are less.
3. Have an emergency fund. An emergency is just that - an emergency, so having something set aside to survive it, makes smart financial sense.