Funny Money Quotes

Here are some funny money quotes if you are starting to feel too serious about money. We mostly turn to comedians to make us see the funny side of money in the quotes below. I hope these funny money quotes will alleviate some of the pain and stress you might be feeling about money.

Funny money quotes

"The trick is to stop thinking of it as 'your' money." - IRS auditor

"Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons." -Woody Allen

"I'm so poor I can't even pay attention." -Ron Kittle

"Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband." -H.L. Mencken

"My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income." -Errol Flynn

"The only reason a great many American families don't own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments." -Mad Magazine

"A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain." -Robert Frost

"The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any." - Katharine Whitehorn

"It doesn't matter if you're black or white... the only color that really matters is green." - Family Guy

"Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money." - Jackie Mason

"Money, if it does not bring you happiness, will at least help you be miserable in comfort." - Helen Gurley Brown

"Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." -A.A. Latimer

"People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." -Doug Larson

"When a fellow says it ain't the money but the principle of the thing, it's the money." -Artemus Ward

"I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart." - EE Cummings

"Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate." -Woody Allen

"I was so poor growing up ... if I wasn't a boy ...I'd have nothing to play with." -Rodney Dangerfield

"Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping." -Bo Derek

"I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year." -Victor Borge

"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn't be enough to go around." -Christina Stead

"I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something." -Jackie Mason

"There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails." -Spencer Tracy quotes

"We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed." -Chris Rock

"I'm as poor as a church mouse, that's just had an enormous tax bill on the very day his wife ran off with another mouse, taking all the cheese." -Rowan Atkinson

"When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet." -Nick Arnette

"Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did." -Henny Youngman

"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." -Lane Kirkland

"You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony." -John Barrymore

"If all the economists were laid end to end, they'd never reach a conclusion." -George Bernard Shaw

I hope these funny money quotes brought a smile to your face and made you chuckle at least a little bit. See the links below for more quotes.

More funny money quotes

• Not so funny money quotes
• Inspirational Quotes -1-
• Inspirational Quotes -2-
• Inspirational Quotes -3-